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Communication is hard. This helps!

Updated: Nov 3, 2023

Things are very complex in your brain. If you're like me you have a million thoughts racing around, and when you try to tell someone your perspective on a sensitive or fraught topic, it's really hard to say everything you want to say. Do you relate? Communication is hard. It's difficult sometimes to feel heard in a conversation with a partner. It can be hard to feel as if they are really understanding your perspective.

Maybe you just have a hard time getting started with what you really want to talk about. You feel like you are bringing it up, but your partner isn't really getting that you really want to talk about this. Maybe you plan on bringing it up in a conversation, but then the night is over you didn't talk about that thing you wanted to talk about. Does that ever happen to you?

You may be the kind of person that when you start talking about something important, you get flustered, or the words all fly out of your head and now you can't even remember what you wanted to say. Does that sound like you?

Maybe you go off on a tangent and they react to that and now you are talking about something else entirely. You didn't finish what you had to say about that and now you've lost that train of thought.

Or maybe they get defensive about something you say that's just a small part of the big picture, and now you're talking about that, or arguing about that and again, you've lost that train of thought that was the main point.

Or maybe what you want to say is just not that easy to describe in words. I mean, words are great, but we forget sometimes how limited they are. They may not be conveying the subtlety of what you are trying to communicate.

BioGraffs can help with all those things! BioGraffs is a method for thinking out what you want to talk about, slowing down to really think it through -- what are all the parts of what I want to say and how do they relate? It helps you access different pathways for thinking about something - creative, visual, tactile, metaphorical. Then it gives you a visual aid to share with someone so they can understand you better.

With this visual aid to help you tell you story, you will

remember all the points you wanted to make; the visual will keep track for you. If you do go off on a tangent, the visual will help you come back to the story of what you wanted to say: no more losing your train of thought!

If the person who is listening starts taking the conversation in another direction - the visual will help you get back to the thing you wanted to say so you feel heard.

And because you harnessed the power of metaphor and visual representation, the image you created will help by expressing some of what you wanted to say in a place less reliant on simply words. The BioGraff you make is a little visual poem that helps you express all of your complexity.

Would you like to give it a try? You can get a feel for the method by using our virtual BioGraff-maker, FREE online. Simply register for a free-month of using the BioGraff Tool with no obligation and no credit card required.

Think of the the thing that you want to talk about with someone. Something you'd like them know about you or your perspective. Start by thinking of a title of what you want to talk about. Something like:

  • What I need when I'm Stressed Out

  • How I Want to Be Taken Care Of

  • What Our Arguments Are Like

  • What I Get From You and What I Want From You

  • My Fantasy

Think of the parts of this story. What are the feelings, thoughts, actions, events that you want to talk about to tell this complete story? You'll pick cubes from the palette and get a prompt that will ask you what each color of cube stands for. Then you'll use these cubes to make a mosaic of this experience for you. There are lots of examples below the BioGraff Canvas that will give you an idea of what you can do and how you can really express so much with a bunch of cubes standing for big ideas and feelings.

When you are done, you can download this image so you share it. Now you have a great conversation opener: "do you wanna look at this thing I made?" It's an icebreaker! Now use this image to share your perspective. Tell the story of what it means. Explain it. Say more about what each color represents and why you arranged them the way you did.

See if it doesn't help you have that hard conversation, and actually even make a little fun in the process.

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